Since I was young, I feel like I have been constantly inundated with images of how my wedding would and should be. How amazing everything was and how much fun it would be to plan a wedding. While it might be rosy and perfect for some, it’s anything but for me.

Now actually admitting this feels kind of taboo. When you’re constantly told how amazing everything is, you feel kind of weird or that something is wrong with you when you’re not really enjoying the process. Planning a wedding is overwhelming to say the least. Trying to figure out everything you’re supposed to be doing is really hard and can sometimes make you feel as though you are really all alone.

Then when you try to talk to others about wedding planning you’re now suddenly inundated with a lot of opinions on things that really seem to conflict with the vision that you actually have in your head for how your day is supposed to go. I’ve never realized how much conflict can arise from something that is supposed to be a happy occasion. How many emotions need to be juggled just to keep the peace.

So, while the process is still ongoing, I will share some of my tips for planning a wedding while staying sane. Hopefully these tips will help in some kind of way and maybe make someone feel a little less overwhelmed and a little more secure in what they’re doing. It’s important to remember that at the end of the day, it’s you and your partner’s wedding, not anyone else’s.

Step 1: Make a check list.

Now I put making a check list as the very first step as I think it’s really important for actually guiding you on your wedding planning journey. It’s so easy to get caught up in aesthetics and how everything should look without considering the nitty gritty details that need to be done to make that vision happen. So I recommend coming up with a checklist or game plan on the things that need to be done and compiling it into a spreadsheet where all the details can be nicely organized. In order to make my life easier, I chose to compile my checklist in Google Spreadsheets so I would be able to share the checklist with a select few while still keeping everything extremely organized. By having this kind of structure, I was able to really keep track of the different things that I needed to get done to make my vision happen.

Step 2: Figure out your budget.

Figuring out a budget for your day and any activities leading up to the wedding is so important. Without a budget in mind, you really can’t begin thinking about everything else that is to come. After coming up with your checklist, it’s important to figure out a budget that make sense for everyone involved. To save yourself a headache, it’s also important to figure out early on if others are contributing to your wedding besides you and your partner. Having a realistic budget early on will help as you continue your wedding planning journey and will hopefully save you some stress and bypass some tension along the way.

Step 3: Make a wedding website.

Now setting up a website may sound difficult, but I can assure you that it is very easy and will help you to keep calm as you’re preparing for your big day. When I was first deciding to start a website, I looked at the various options out there. I had friends and loved ones who had previously had weddings and set up wedding websites and from some of their recommendations I have chosen to use Zola. I like that I can easily design a beautiful wedding website for free while also have a one stop place for my registry and things like guest planning. Another thing that I also found extremely helpful was their checklist feature that they have available. By using their checklist feature I was able to have a better idea of other things that I should be preparing for that I could add to my checklist which really helped me with organizing my time and feeling less overwhelmed with the process.

Step 4: Book the big things first.

For me, trying to figure out the big things first has been extremely helpful in staying organized and managing my stress levels. So, something that I recommend trying to figure out early on are things like booking a venue, photographer, caterer, DJ/band, etc. It’s easy to get caught up with how everything could and should look but if you don’t figure out the big things first, it’s really hard to make an informed decision about all the other details.

Step 5: Know when to take a break.

Wedding planning can be stressful, but it shouldn’t feel impossible. For most of us, planning a wedding might be our first time planning a large event. It’s easy to get overwhelmed especially when there’s so much to do. I am here to tell you that you can take a break. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, sometimes the best thing to do is take a break for a few days, practice self-care, and come back to it later on.